Fullness of Joy

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Happy Monday!  Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, “This is the day which the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it”! Psalm 118:24

We returned mid-week from a great vacation back to Missouri for our annual family reunion.  It was so good to spend time with family and visit with some very special friends too!  My titanium hips and I actually got on a horse and rode like the wind!!  Well, maybe it was just a breeze, but it felt like the wind!  I grew up with horses, but that’s the first time I had been on horseback for about 30 years or so.  I know my daddy was laughing right along with me!

Have you noticed how different parts of our lives can parallel each other?  I have my health and wellness journey and then there is this other journey called everyday life.  Maybe the single most important thing I have discovered about the two is that they will be exactly what I make them to be.  There will be failures and successes and there will be joys and heartbreaks BUT, how I deal with each of them will determine the ultimate outcome.

You have all patiently?? listened as I vented my occasional frustrations when my journey didn’t go as I had hoped, but when it comes right down to it, I have two choices.  I can give up and let my health go back to what it used to be or I can make that U-turn and look at the long term.  If you are or have been in the stock market, you have heard the proverbial “look at the long term results”.  And that is how our lives are.  There are momentary highs and lows, but what really counts is the long term result.

As I have said before, will say again, and we all know anyway, this is not a journey that we have to travel alone.  We have a God who is full of grace and mercy and is always there to help us get through everything we battle with.  I know I am also very fortunate to have a strong and loving support group in The Daniel Plan.  I pray each of you feel that support in your lives.

Pray Unceasingly!

In His light,

Lois

 

Fullness of Joy

The Daniel Plan

You always show me the path of life. You will fill me with joy when I am with you. You will make me happy forever at your right hand. —Psalm 16:11 NIrV

God has made known to us the path of genuine, abundant life. That means we don’t need to figure it all out on our own, because he’s paved the way in front of us. Every day we simply put one foot in front of the other. We are like the Israelites crossing the Red Sea, taking step after step in faith that the waters will stay parted and the ground will be dry.

Along this path, in his presence, there’s fullness of joy. When the hard things come around, there’s that choice to stay on the path, to put one foot in front of the other, to find joy in the midst of the chaos, to find his presence there with us.

At the end of the film The Bucket List, one of the characters is passing away and he says, “I’m just going to ask you to do one more thing for me. Find the joy in your life.” We can find the joy by taking those persistent steps of trust with God by our side.

Food for Thought: God has fully given us joy in his presence; right next to him are pleasures forevermore.

 

Above and Beyond

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Greetings from the Midwest!  We will be home very soon now though.  Sorry I missed last week, but it has been a wonderful vacation!

 When we return, it will be time to buckle down and get back to work.  It will definitely be time for a detox.  No matter how careful you plan to be, when you are away, it is just really hard.  Thank God for a new start, every day.  I know that I am weak, but He is capable of anything I need.  It is through His power that I can keep up the journey.  This is the backbone of the Daniel Plan.  God’s power in our lives.  To Him be the glory!

 

Above and Beyond

The Daniel Plan

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus. —Ephesians 3:20-21

This is the theme verse of The Daniel Plan. It’s all about God’s power working in our lives.

The key to a faith-filled life is not trying harder or psyching ourselves up, but it’s relaxing in God’s grace. It’s being filled with his power so that he can do through us all that he has designed us to do.

We have so many dreams, yet life can get in the way. Thankfully, we can look to God for his strength. As Paul says in Philippians 4:13, we can do all things through him who gives us strength. Or in Matthew 19:26, Jesus says, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” So many things that seem out of reach are possible with God.

What do you need God’s power for? To improve your health, learn a new way to eat, move in different ways, improve your mental focus, deepen your faith?

It’s all possible through him.

Food for Thought: God is able to do immeasurably more than you can imagine. To him be glory!

Your Faith Will Not Fail, Even When You Do

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We have talked about failure before and I think that is something we probably all have in common in some way.  As I read this article though, I couldn’t get Peter out of my mind.  Jesus warned him at their meal and Peter didn’t see how it would ever be possible to deny his Lord.  And yet, he did.  Not once, not twice, but three times.

 With all the growing persecution in today’s world, I tell myself often that I will never deny my Savior!  But… who am I compared to Peter who walked right alongside Jesus?  I pray daily that my strength and faith will always persevere.  I pray that no matter what I may be faced with, I will stand strong!  But… who am I compared to Peter who walked right alongside Jesus?!

 Our Thursday group is one of the big highlights of my week.  Not only do we focus on healthy living habits, but we do devotionals and above all, we strengthen one another.  It’s a God thing.  There have been times that “coincidently”, there would be just me and one other lady, at least for a while.  And those were the times that burdens needed to be shared or some hurt just needed to be heard.  I pray my shoulders helped.  What my ladies don’t always realize is the number of times that MY burden was heavy and how very much they lightened it!

  God is SO good!  Never fear failure because He is there holding our hand!   Never become overwhelmed because there is ALWAYS a shoulder available!  If not in this physical realm, then the infinite shoulder and love of our heavenly Savior!

Pray Unceasingly!

 

In His light,

Lois

 

Your Faith Will Not Fail, Even When You Do

 During that storied final meal Jesus shared with His disciples, only hours away from all the torments that awaited Him, there is an extraordinary exchange between Jesus and Peter. The truly remarkable thing is that this is just before Jesus tells Peter he will disown Him. Sitting at the table, where the peculiar alchemy of wine turning to blood and bread becoming body was already at play, Jesus looks across the table at the fiery, well-intentioned disciple whose face was not yet shadowed by the guilt of betrayal. And He speaks words of heartbreaking tenderness to the man who says he will die for Jesus but will in actuality curse him by morning:

Simon, Simon, listen! Satan has demanded to sift all of you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your own faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.— Luke 22:31-32

Satan has desired to sift you like wheat, says the Man who Roman soldiers will carve up like cattle in just a few hours. But even knowing the physical and psychological torture that He will soon endure, Jesus’ concern is for Peter — that he will not be able to live with himself after what he is about to do. He knows the storm of bitter tears, the stomach-churning agony of regret that will eat him from the inside for betraying the one he loved the most. He knows the sting of it could rend Peter’s mind, the way the whip will soon rend His own skin. So He says,

I have prayed for you — that your faith may not fail…

Objectively, conclusively, decisively — Peter himself will fail before the rooster crows. That is already established. But while Peter will fail spectacularly, on the surface of things, there is something at work in him that is deeper than his failure. The waves will overtake the man and his blustering ego, but in the depths of the sea within Peter is a stronger, more ancient current that did not originate from him — a current that need not be shaken by his failure on the surface: his faith. I have prayed for you, Peter, that even though you will fail (in fact, be known for the most famous failure in the history of the church), your faith will not fail. The tsunami will come, and take your self-reliance and your pride; humiliation will wash over you. You will fail, but I have prayed for you… that your failure would not destroy your faith but deepen it. I have prayed for you that the very thing that was intended to kill you will make the faith already planted in the deepest soil of you even stronger.

It is possible to fail, and not have our faith fail us.

It is possible to lose our lives, and not lose our souls. The master teacher taught us Himself that it is only in losing our lives — in their ego pretensions and posturing, in their careful image constructions and neediness — that this richer, deeper, below-the-surface life can be found. This is the life hidden with Christ in God, where almost anything can happen at the top of things without disrupting the grace that lies in the bottom of the sea in you. This is the place in the depths where you can be cut off from your very self (as you understood it), and from the name your father gave you, and from the place where you grew up, and from the tribe that gave you language, and from the story that gave you meaning — only to find that nothing can separate you from the love of God.

When the storm is still brewing over the waters, and the sky sickens into an ominous gray-black, and you feel the electric charge in the air in your very skin, inevitably the question comes: Will I survive this? Can I make it through the storm that is coming (whatever sent it here, and however it came)? And of course, there are many storms fierce enough to toss you, throw you, destabilize you, and scare you that do not result in shipwreck. Some storms last only for the night; some pockets of violent air are only turbulence.

But some storms are more violent, more relentless, more exacting. Some winds will not be calmed; some floods will not be dammed until they have their way with you, until they walk away with their pound of flesh. And whether or not, again, the storm finds its origin in the undomesticated wildness of nature and of created things — or whether or not the storm originates in you — does not change the scope or scale or power of it. The storms that come will test us all, and it is entirely possible one comes to you that will end in your failure before the wind and waves recede. But the Spirit in the wind whispers the words of Jesus again, inserting your own name for Simon’s: “I have prayed for you that your own faith may not fail — and even when you do . . . that your faith may even grow stronger through your failure.”

During my own shipwreck, my long season of descent, I returned over and over to the story in Acts 27 of Paul’s shipwreck. The apostle was a prisoner in transport when God revealed to him that a storm was coming. Because Paul knows the Spirit, he is a man in tune with matters of wind and wave as much as the matters of the soul; and he knows the boat he is traveling on will soon encounter a terrible storm. Before the storm comes, he tells his captor companions a heartening thing: “None of you will lose a hair from your heads.” (Acts 27:34) The good news is, you are not going to die. The bad news is, the boat that has been carrying you — the vessel that had taken you from port to port, place to place, the strong and stable boat that made you feel safe on all the oceans you’ve sailed thus far — the boat will be lost. They were not going to lose their lives, but they were going to lose the boat.

Losing the boat is no small thing. To lose the boat is to lose the ground beneath your feet, the stories you told yourself and others, to lose what protected you from all the elements before. To lose the boat is to lose everything that kept you afloat before, to be thrown into the vast and merciless sea now alone, with nothing left to protect you from its moody tides, the blazing sun above it, or the black-eyed creatures that lurk beneath it. You can lose your boat, lose your house with all the pictures inside it, lose your job, lose your most defining relationship.

And still not lose you. And still not lose your soul. And still not lose your faith. Make no mistake: You will be stripped down in the shipwreck. But you will not be lost. While I would not recommend a shipwreck to anyone, any more than I would recommend cancer, car accidents, or the plague, I can yet attest to a mysterious truth I have since heard over and over from people who have survived their own shipwrecks: On the other side of them, there is a stronger, deeper, richer, more integrated life.

That on the other side of the storm that tears you to pieces is a capacity to love without doubt, to live without fear, to be something infinitely more powerful than the man or woman you were before it happened.

Almost nobody who survives a shipwreck would ever sign up to do it all over again, a second time. Nobody can exactly say they were glad it happened. And yet repeatedly, I hear people say the same remarkable thing — that they also under no circumstances would choose to go back and be the person they were before. Nobody would choose to lose the loved one all over again to the unexpected illness, or lose the job they trained for years to get, or lose the relationship they invested heart and soul into for half of their adult life.

I cannot tell you with any degree of confidence that you will not fail your test. I cannot tell you with any degree of certainty that your ship is going to make it out in one piece. Like Job, I am a small man, unable to sort the elements of God and cosmos and good and evil, of human freedom and responsibility, of divine will, or of the unadorned chaos that is the sea itself.

I can only align myself with the greater wisdom of the Teacher and of His apostle and tell you that even though you might fail — utterly — your faith does not have to. I can tell you that even if the ship does not survive, you will.

Storms come, as do a legion of demons that come for the sifting. Take heart; Jesus says, “I have prayed for you.”

It’s A New Day – The Choice is Yours

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It’s A New Day – The Choice is Yours

 Max Lucado

(Long, long ago, in the days before internet and email, running water and fire, in days when my hair was red and my waist was thin, I wrote an entry in my journal. It felt print-worthy, so I shared it with our church. People resonated with it, so we included it in a book. That was a quarter of a century ago, yet the words still seem to find their mark. It surfaces in magazines, blogs and newsletters. I even came across a version of this piece on a wall calligraphy. Maybe you’ve read it. If not, maybe you will and, who knows, it may find a place in your heart. —Max)  _____________________________________________________________________

It’s quiet. It’s early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming.

In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met. For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice.

Because of Calvary, I’m free to choose. And so I choose.

I choose love. No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I choose joy. I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical… the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose peace. I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I choose patience. I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite Him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose kindness. I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose goodness. I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose faithfulness. Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

I choose gentleness. Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I choose self-control. I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithful-ness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.

Excerpted from Let the Journey Begin by Max Lucado © Thomas Nelson.
Originally published in When God Whispers Your Name by Max Lucado © Thomas Nelson

 

Memorial Day 2016

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130Click for Options

Memorial Day.  In the past, we have had the typical BBQ or whatever celebration we were invited to.  This morning, we drove to Bushnell for the annual Memorial Day program at the Florida National Cemetery.  What a special time!  We have driven through the cemetery once before and it was beyond impressive, but today was just such an emotional experience.  To look out over those thousands of tombstones of our men and women who served and sacrificed their lives to preserve our freedom was just overwhelming.  Freedom isn’t free.

As we left, I noticed a young mother and her toddler kneeling at a gravesite, her hand pressed to the stone.  There was also an older woman doing the same and many other families wondering amongst the stones, seemingly looking for the memorial to their loved one.    I had to wonder if they had the assurance that there loved one wasn’t there, but in an indescribable new home?  Did they think the end came when their loved one took their last breath?

 This cemetery will also serve as the final resting place of our earthly remains, so it had extra meaning because of that too.  I have great comfort knowing that when we have taken our last breath, our children will know that Florida National Cemetery is just the last entry in our genealogical history.  We are not there.  We have gone home.

Pray Unceasingly!

In His light,

Lois

Remember the Sacrifice 
from Seeing God In America

 Arlington National Cemetery, Arlington, Virginia

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. — John 15:13–14

Looking out across the rolling wooded acres of Arlington National Cemetery, with its hundreds of thousands of white stones in perfectly ordered rows, brings an assortment of emotions that are impossible to escape. Sadness. Desolation. Pride of country. Anger over so many lost young lives. The stones represent tremendous loss as well as the gift of freedom we are able to enjoy.

Arlington National Cemetery is a United States military cemetery located across the Potomac River from Washington, D.C., in Arlington County, Virginia. Within its 624 acres, over four hundred thousand active-duty service members, veterans, and their families have been buried. In addition to the military heroes, Arlington is also the final resting place for a select number of presidents, astronauts, senators, and Supreme Court justices. Founded during the dark days of the Civil War, the cemetery now contains the remains of military personnel from every American war — from the Revolution to Iraq and Afghanistan.

But what about those of us who have never been called upon to lay down our lives in battle? Is the whole concept of “sacrifice” something for others and not for us? No! The Lord Jesus Christ calls each of His followers to a life of sacrifice, for His sake. The apostle Paul wrote,

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. — Ephesians 5:1–2

Sacrifice isn’t just some dramatic final act of heroism. Sacrifice is also laying down our privileges, benefits, and pleasures for the good of someone else. The book of Hebrews says,

Do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. — Hebrews 13:16

We may yet be called on to give up our lives on earth for the sake of another. But in the meantime, Jesus calls us to daily follow Him by giving more attention, care, love, time, and help to others than we give to ourselves.

Lord Jesus, sometimes my sacrifices seem so small, so insignificant, compared with those who have given so very much. But my goal today is to follow You with all my heart, being ready to set aside my own plans and pleasures whenever You call me to.

Sacrifice is a daily determination to put the needs of others before our own.

Excerpted with permission from Seeing God In America, copyright Thomas Nelson.

The 5 Love Languages

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I know, I know, it isn’t Valentine’s Day so what’s up with all the “love” talk?  The only reason is that this has always kind of fascinated me and the fact that Dennis and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum in many ways.  Despite that, we have muddled our way through for 35 years now though so hopefully, we can muddle our way through a few more!  I also thought this was a good follow up to the “One Another” article from last week.

Have you heard of the book “Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Mars”?  Have you ever looked at your spouse and felt like you could totally relate?  That moment when you stand there looking at each other and all you can do is shake your head because neither of you have a clue where the other one is coming from?  You THOUGHT you understood perfectly what they said, but found out you weren’t even close!  This article explains a lot of that.  There is also a link to more information on the topic.

Another thing that kind of fascinates me is this: “Love is a decision, not a feeling.”  The New Testament COMMANDS us 11 times to “love one another.”  So… it isn’t just a feeling that we have, it’s a decision we make!  That is something to mull around in your mind for a while!

Whether it is your relationship with your spouse, your friend or your neighbor, we need to make the decision to love.  Love freely and wholeheartedly and see what happens.  See if you can identify the “Love Language” of those you love, then see if it can change the way you relate.  Above all, love.

The 5 Love Languages

Jon Spayde – Experience Life

We explore Gary Chapman’s best-selling book on the five ways most people “speak” love and show you how to connect more deeply with loved ones.

Kind words mean the world to you — getting a compliment will boost your mood all day — so you return the favor by heaping praise on your spouse at every turn. She will feel so loved! you think.

Your better half, however, experiences love in a whole different light. She feels truly cared for when her spouse lends a helping hand — feeding the dog, taking out the garbage, paying the bills. So while you’re lavishing her with verbal encouragement, she’s silently stewing about the un mowed lawn.

Or you’re eager to hear your mom praise your accomplishments, but Mom is busy buying gifts and other assorted items for your new house — and she is completely flummoxed when the pile of presents she gives you don’t seem to relieve your angst.

According to therapist Gary Chapman, PhD, these are examples of people speaking different “love languages.” It is a simple but transformative concept: We all give and receive love in unique ways, explains the author of The 5 Love Languages (Northfield, 2009). But when our way of “speaking” love is different from that of our family and friends, we are like ships passing in the night — our expressions of affection sail right past each other without registering. The husband’s compliments are sweet, and the mom’s presents are thoughtful, but because the intended recipient doesn’t send and receive love in the same primary way, the gestures fall flat.
Chapman’s book identifies five primary ways we express love. He then establishes how much our relationships can benefit when we’re able to understand and speak all these languages fluently. “It’s a very simple idea,” says Chapman. “But when you apply it, it really does change the climate between two people.”

The idea came to the author after spending 15 years listening to married couples voice different versions of the same complaint.

“One partner would say, ‘I feel like my spouse doesn’t love me,’” Chapman remembers.

Eventually he realized what they were really expressing was a frustrated desire. “So I asked myself a question: When someone says ‘my spouse doesn’t love me,’ what does he or she want?”

Chapman theorized that each of these unhappy people had a dominant mode for experiencing love and wanted to experience it in that particular way. He also realized that those modes of emotional expression fell into five categories:

1. Words of Affirmation (To be verbally acknowledged)
2. Quality Time (To enjoy companionship)
3. Receiving Gifts (To be given tokens of love)
4. Acts of Service (To have their partners do tasks for them)
5. Physical Touch (To be in contact via the body)

For anyone who has had a “lost in translation” moment when it comes to love, the concept is almost instantly clarifying. Aha, you think to yourself, I finally get why he’s always digging for compliments, why I just want to hang out together, and why neither of us ever feels understood.

Initially, the challenge is determining the other person’s chief love language, and perhaps identifying a strong secondary preference. (After all, who doesn’t like all five on some level: praise, companionship, getting presents, getting help with tasks, and a nice hug?)

Finding the dominant language is key, though, and worth a bit of trial and error. If your main love language is Quality Time and your partner neither spends much time with you nor touches you much, you’ll miss the companionship a lot more than the touch. And if your partner simply begins to happily hang out with you, you’ll feel like the whole relationship is back on the rails, even without more hugging.

To figure out another person’s primary emotional language, Chapman suggests, try a three-step approach: First, look at how your partner most often expresses love to you and others. By volunteering for tasks? Speaking kind words? Finding or making thoughtful presents?

Second, what does he or she complain about most often? “You’re always telling that story that makes me sound dumb!” — affirmation trouble. “Why can’t you feed the cat once in a while?” — service complaint.
Third, what does he or she request most often? “Couldn’t we get away for a while, just the two of us?” “Would you give me a back rub?”

The same goes for discovering your own major love language: how you mainly express love, what you complain about, what you request. You can also use the process of elimination. Ask yourself, “If I had to give up one, which would it be?” and go down the list until you’re left with the last one you’re willing to relinquish.

One’s primary language seems to remain roughly the same through life, notes Chapman, first appearing around age 3 via love-me-this-way signals like “Look at what I can do, Mommy!” (a request for Words of Affirmation) or a delight in making and giving small gifts. In the big transition of the teenage years, however, the way a parent speaks the love language of a son or daughter may have to change, from hugs and trips to the ice-cream parlor to pats on the back and attendance at soccer games.

Of course, if receiving gifts means little to you, it may be difficult for you to shower another person with presents. But Chapman reminds us that speaking a partner’s love language is an act of — what else? — love, which is an escape from selfishness and calculation of cost-benefit. And love freely given prompts love in return.

SPEAKING LOVE: THE FIVE LANGUAGES

First published in 1992, The 5 Love Languages has sold more than 8 million copies, with stronger sales each successive year as it continues to resonate with new generations of readers. The book has also been translated into 49 languages. Chapman followed up with The 5 Love Languages: Men’s Edition (Northfield, 2009) and other versions that adapt the principles to the needs of parents, single people, children, and workplace colleagues, as well as a volume on how to adapt the love-languages method in making apologies. Here’s what the five languages look like in practice:

1. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

These are compliments and words of appreciation and encouragement directed at the other person. “You look so gorgeous in that blouse.” “I love how you’re always on time to pick me up.” “What a great daughter you are — helping your mom at your busiest time.” “You’ll make the business work — I know how determined you are.”

Chapman emphasizes that Words of Affirmation are not flattery designed to manipulate the other person. “The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love,” he notes. Words of Affirmation are true statements that you speak from the heart.

2. QUALITY TIME

Chapman defines this love language precisely. “By ‘quality time’ I mean giving someone your undivided attention,” he writes. “I don’t mean sitting on the couch and watching television together.” Quality Time is time spent in real connection with the other person, making eye contact, and practicing attentive listening to what he or she is saying.

“When I sit with my wife and give her 20 minutes of my undivided attention, and she does the same for me,” he continues, “we are giving each other 20 minutes of life. We will never have those 20 minutes again; we are giving our lives to each other. It is a powerful emotional communicator of love.”

3. RECEIVING GIFTS

In nearly every culture around the world, gift giving is part of the love-and-marriage process, and the most familiar symbols of this tradition are engagement and wedding rings. The wedded person whose primary love language is Receiving Gifts will often place a high value on his or her ring, perhaps never taking it off.

Chapman calls gifts “visual symbols of love,” and he emphasizes that the monetary value of the present is rarely an issue. You can buy, find, or make something for your loved one; it’s the thoughtfulness, and the intention behind the gesture, that means the most.

4. ACTS OF SERVICE

This love language is based in the nitty-gritty routines of daily life. Making beds, changing diapers, taking out the trash — they’re not the glamorous gestures of romantic love, but for the person whose primary language is Acts of Service, they’re the bedrock of committed, mature love.

In learning to speak this love language, stereotypes can get in the way. For heterosexual couples, either party may tacitly believe that domestic chores are “women’s work,” depriving male partners of the opportunity to show love by helping with those tasks. Similarly, fixing the furnace may fall into the (anachronistically) off-limits category for women. Same-sex couples can run into a version of this scenario: Those chores are your responsibility and these are mine. Keep these stereotypes in mind, since helping out, no matter the task at hand, speaks volumes to the Acts of Service person.

5. PHYSICAL TOUCH

“A lot of men think their main love language is Physical Touch because of their desire for sex,” says Jennifer Thomas, PhD, a clinical psychologist in North Carolina who collaborated with Chapman to write The Five Languages of Apology(Northfield, 2008). “But that could just be their testosterone talking. Sexual contact is an important part of Physical Touch, but touch probably isn’t [men’s] main love language unless they also like back rubs, holding hands, and being hugged as an affirmation.” And that’s the keynote here: Nonsexual touch is the prime conveyor of love for “native speakers” of this language, and its absence can almost feel like abandonment.

LEARNING A NEW LANGUAGE

Once we learn the main love language of our partners, lovers, friends, or children, we may be faced with resistance to “speaking” it for any number of reasons rooted in childhood traumas, buried resentments, or simple aversion. Chapman counsels patience and a step-by-step approach. Start with a simple and limited list of tasks you can do or help with. Make the most basic kind of card to give — maybe just a folded piece of paper with a heart on it and a simple declaration of love. Spend five minutes of quality time together and work up from there. Hold your partner’s hand on your evening walk. Sweep the kitchen floor.

“Love is a decision, not a feeling,” says Chapman. Making that decision daily, come what may, and supporting it imperfectly but sincerely, will help your relationships flourish.

To learn more about the love languages and to take a quiz to determine your own dominant mode of emotional expression, visit www.5lovelanguages.com.
This article originally appeared as “The Five Languages of Love” in the December 2013 issue of Experience Life. 

One Another

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It’s really hard to believe, but it has been over two years since the original Daniel Plan groups started!  Our Thursday group has bonded and evolved.  We have lost members and we have gained members.  One thing that has remained consistent though is our dedication to healthy living.  We support “one other”, help “one another” and love “one another”.  It is the encouragement of the group that keeps me going when I get discouraged.

I think one of the things that really sticks with me is how we can support each other in other areas of our lives too.  Sometimes it’s just an encouraging word, a hug or knowing someone is praying for you.  We have a few that need our prayers and that is usually the case.  I’m a firm believer in praying for others, even if we don’t know of any specific need.  Life happens and we never know what someone else may be going through.  This week, maybe we could choose one (or two!) friends each day and just pray for their health, their peace and their well-being.  Prayer is such a powerful thing and we serve a God of miracles.  He WANTS to hear from us and He wants to answer us.  How can He help you?

Pray Unceasingly!

 

In His light,

Lois

One Another

The Daniel Plan

 Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today.” —Hebrews 3:13

The phrase “one another” is used fifty-eight times in the New Testament. It says love one another, care for one another, encourage one another, support one another, pray for one another, greet one another, and share with one another. The word support carries the idea of strengthening one another.

Help one another become more capable of facing the challenges of health and living for Christ.

So reach out for support, and also consider who needs support from you today. Biblical fellowship is a radical level of friendship and community that implies deep commitment out of genuine and joyful love for one another.

God wired us in such a way that we need each other. We get well in community. You need your coworkers, your family, the people who sit near you in church, the parents of your children’s friends—even if you don’t yet know their names, or even if you find them difficult at times.

Food for Thought: With a loving community of friends, you’ll be better able to cope with challenges like fatigue, fear, frustration, failure, depression, and despair. And most importantly, you won’t have to walk through them alone.

Make Your Own Health Miracles

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Sometimes, all this “health” stuff really becomes overwhelming.  Everywhere we turn, we hear something new or something else that we are doing wrong.  Eat this, don’t eat that, do this, don’t do that.  I believe what it really comes down to though is finding a plan, a lifestyle, that you can live with and still work toward where you want to be.  If you try to radically change your life, all at once, what usually happens?  We are overwhelmed, we are discouraged and feel like we’ve failed And. We. Quit.  Ever been there?  I have many times.

While I am not, and never will be a pro at this, I have made progress.  I try to take one or two things that I know I need to change and take the time to incorporate those changes into my lifestyle before I add others.  Probably the first and hardest habit broken was my passion for diet Dr. Pepper.  I LOVED my Dr. Pepper!  I loved the taste, I loved the feel of it going down my throat and I loved the “kick” that it gave me afterwards. (caffeine) This was during a time that I was having a lot of health challenges and being an avid reader, I came across some articles about soda.  Not just soda, but DIET soda in particular.  As I learned more about the effects it could have on my body, I decided I had to eliminate it and see if it made a difference.  What???  Isn’t diet soda supposed to be better?  Very few calories and still tasted great!  Well, guess what?  It made a big difference!  I quit.   I can’t say I have never looked back.  Every 3 or 4 years I get the craving.  Sometimes, I will indulge in a small one if it’s really bad, but I have found, like many other things, once you quit, it really isn’t the same.  And if I do indulge, I ask myself why?  It no longer meets my expectation.

Evaluate what bad habits might make a difference in your health if they were eliminated.  It may be sodas, cutting back a little on caffeine, sweets, or maybe just adding more vegetables and fruit.  It might be as simple as taking a walk every day.  Whatever it is, keep it doable.  Don’t become overwhelmed by trying to do too much at once.

Ask for God’s direction and strength.  Where you fail, He can succeed.  Have Faith, have Focus, eat real, wholesome Food, incorporate Fitness and have some Friends to keep you honest, accountable and to give you support!  Those five essentials cover it all.  To your health!

Pray Unceasingly!

 In His light,

Lois

 

Make Your Own Health Miracles

ANJULA RAZDAN · EXPERIENCE LIFE

Too many chronic ailments have been pronounced “incurable.” Here’s how some forward-thinking practitioners are resolving such conditions — and transforming their patients’ lives.

Many progressive practitioners take a systems-based approach, exploring how their patients’ environment and lifestyle factors interact with their unique physiology. While treatment plans are highly individualized, here are some powerful tips that any of us can employ to safely jump-start our own healing process.

Try an elimination diet. Most integrative and functional-medicine experts agree that a comprehensive elimination diet — removing common irritants like gluten, dairy, corn, soy, tree nuts, and sugar — is one of the most effective clinical tools available. Best of all, “it’s free,” says Bette Bischoff, MD, RD, a Tulsa, Okla.–based functional-medicine doctor.

Eat a wide variety of plant-based foods. Do your best to eat a diversity of veggies, legumes, and fruits to minimize inflammation, improve immunity, and support a healthy microbiome, suggests Thomas Sult, MD, a functional-medicine doctor in New London, Minn.

Move your body. It can be as simple as taking a walk, says Sult. If you’re sick or fatigued and exercise often makes you feel worse, he suggests trying “sub symptom threshold exercise”: “If an hour of walking makes you sick but 40 minutes does not, then walk for 40 minutes. Simply stay below the threshold that makes you feel worse.”

Take high-quality supplements. A whole-foods-eating program is a cornerstone of functional medicine, says Bischoff, but soil depletion means our fruits and veggies are less nutritious than they used to be, and most of us don’t eat as well as we might intend. As a result, it’s estimated that anywhere between 30 and 90 percent of U.S. adults suffer from one or more nutritional deficiencies. Taking a high-quality multivitamin with minerals, plus vitamin D and a fish oil or other omega-3 supplement, can help you avoid that fate.

Work with what you’ve got. Even if you are saddled with a family history of chronic disease, know you are not a prisoner of your genes. It’s the way your environment and lifestyle choices interact with your genes that matter. “People need to understand that their lifestyle choices have a huge role to play when it comes to chronic disease,” says neurologist David Perlmutter, MD.

Beware of toxins. “Most people aren’t aware of how disruptive environmental toxins can be, especially when it comes to our hormones,” says Margaret Christensen, MD, a functional-medicine gynecologist in Dallas, Texas. Some of Christensen’s top tips: Use clean, organic personal-care products. Don’t use toxic herbicides or pesticides on your lawn. If you remodel, use low-VOC paint. Don’t cook in Teflon or other nonstick pans. Don’t microwave plastic. Avoid exposing food to Styrofoam and plastic wrap.

Avoid excessive antibiotic use. Although antibiotics can be lifesaving, they are also powerfully disruptive to your body’s microbiome. Let your doctor know you prefer a conservative approach to medication. If you do need antibiotics, ask for a targeted drug versus a broad-spectrum one, Perlmutter suggests. Finally, be sure to add a high-potency probiotic (25 to 50 billion live cultures) while you’re taking the antibiotic, he advises. Continue it for at least one week after your prescription, and ideally longer.

Don’t rush things. People with chronic illnesses are often desperate to get better right away, but in most cases, even “miracle cures” take time. “You can’t do everything at once,” says Bischoff. “I tell my patients to picture a downward spiral: When people finally make it to a functional-medicine practitioner, they are usually somewhere within that spiral. It takes a while to reverse course.”

 

7 Tips to Help You Change

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Sometimes, I let my progress, or lack of, get me down. It seems like nothing I do makes a difference. (Do I recall something about setbacks and failure???) BUT, when I really stop and analyze my progress, I realize that is just silly! My weight will always be a struggle for me. I have come to realize that. Meanwhile, all of my blood work tests come back great! At my age, the doctor has cut me back to annual visits from semi-annual for the first time in years! When I do go, he tries hard to find something wrong with me. And HE usually fails! So, have I failed? I don’t think so.

Our group is still going strong. We have evolved and bonded. We depend on each other and try to be accountable to each other. We pray a lot. I think I can say that we are continuously “rewiring our brains”.

We CAN be healthier, stronger and more faithful and focused than ever! Stop and think about all the improvements you have made and the habits you have changed. Remember the effort you are making and that we don’t have to do it alone! ALWAYS remember God has this!

Pray Unceasingly!

In His light,
Lois

7 Tips to Help You Change
Daniel Amen, MD

Are you having trouble sticking with The Daniel Plan? Don’t beat yourself up. The Daniel Plan is designed to help you rewire your brain so you can get thinner, smarter, and happier. But don’t expect it to be as easy as flipping a switch.

Did you know that your brain is hardwired to resist change? The human brain likes to conserve energy and doing the same-old, same-old doesn’t require as much energy as trying something new and different. No wonder it can be so hard to change lifelong habits!
Be patient. It takes time to overwrite old neural pathways with new ones. But you can do it! The Daniel Plan is here to help you along the way. Here are 7 tips to help retrain your brain so you can continue making progress.

Don’t try to change everything at once. If you have come to the decision that you want to make changes in your life, you probably want them to happen NOW! But after nearly 30 years of helping patients navigate the change process, I have learned that taking a gradual approach is the surest way to success.

So many people try to change all at once, but this almost inevitably invites disappointment and failure. You don’t have to change dozens of behaviors at once. Start with a few vital behaviors—the ones that will have the biggest immediate impact—and go from there.
Believe you can do it. If you don’t believe in yourself, you will never achieve your goals. Lean on others in your small group for support and encouragement. When others believe in you, it can help you learn to believe in yourself.
Focus on your successes. Rather than dwelling on the habits you haven’t managed to change yet, focus on the positive steps you have made. Are you drinking more water? Terrific! Are you eating more veggies? Excellent! Are you walking with your small group? Fantastic! Celebrating even the smallest successes can help keep you motivated.
Don’t swap one bad habit for another. If you’ve got a sweet tooth, you may think that kicking your sugar habit is the ultimate goal. So instead of chomping on chocolate in the afternoon, you start sipping a diet soda or a café latte. Yes, it isn’t chocolate, but it still isn’t good for your brain or your weight-loss efforts. I see this so many times with my patients who quit one bad habit only to acquire another one in its place.

Some people even turn to illicit drugs. At the 2010 meeting of the American Society of Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery, researchers presented evidence that some people who have bariatric surgery replace their food addiction with drug or alcohol addiction. A survey of post-bariatric surgery patients in substance abuse programs revealed that 85 percent of them put some of the blame on “addiction substitution” and 75 percent thought “unresolved psychological issues” played a role in their substance abuse.

This doesn’t surprise me because, as I like to say, stapling your stomach may be working on the wrong organ. There may be underlying biological, psychological, social, or spiritual causes for your overeating. If you get rid of your problem foods or have surgery to shrink your stomach but do NOT address these underlying problems, you won’t make any progress. You will simply look for other ways to self-medicate. To be your best self, you need to kick your bad habits and replace them with healthy habits.
Get back on track—setbacks don’t mean failure. The road to change is not a one-way street. The steps to change are not static. I frequently tell my patients that their journey will be like going up and down a staircase. They will go up several steps, feel like they’ve made progress, then go back down a few steps when difficult situations arise. They will make several more steps of progress, then slip back a few, but usually not as many as before. Usually, the slope of progress is in an upward, positive direction.

If you aren’t expecting to encounter setbacks, it can derail your efforts. Let’s say you’ve been doing a great job sticking to your daily calorie limit and have lost 5 pounds after a few weeks. But then you go to your parents’ house for the holidays where you overindulge and end up gaining 2 pounds in a week. Then you feel like you’ve blown it, so you continue overeating after you return home and then you give up entirely on changing.

Understanding that setbacks are part of the process and planning how to deal with them makes them easier to handle. So you ate more than you should during the holidays and gained a couple pounds—just get back onto your program the next day. Remember, losing weight is not a race, and faster is not necessarily better. Slow and steady is the healthiest way to lose weight and keep it off.
If you hit a plateau, change things up a bit. Hitting a plateau can be one of the most frustrating challenges in your weight-loss journey. A plateau is when your scale seems to get stuck on a certain number and just won’t budge even though you haven’t veered away from your new brain healthy habits. Rest assured that this is a common scenario.

First, ask yourself, is it really a plateau? Even if the number on the scale is stuck, your body composition might still be improving. So don’t automatically get discouraged if the number on the scale isn’t changing fast enough for you. We often get so hung up on a specific number that we lose sight of our real goal, which is to look slimmer, feel happier and more energetic, and be smarter.

If you really have hit a plateau, then it is probably time to add more intensity to your workout routine or adjust your calorie intake.
Remember that change never stops. Our bodies and lives are in a constant state of change. Marriages, divorces, job transfers, pregnancies, injuries, illnesses, and hormonal transitions are just some of the many things that keep us in flux. Because of this, as you reach your initial goals, you may decide that you want even greater results. Or unexpected things might happen in your life that make you reevaluate your original benchmarks and downshift your expectations. Just know that with every change that comes into your life, you have the power to be in control of the way you handle that change.

To Reduce Your Fear of Failure, Redefine It

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Is there anyone out there who has never failed at anything?  If so, you probably should have had,  just for the experience.  I would be happy to give you a few, if you want, since I seem to have an abundance!

Failure used to devastate me. I felt like I wasn’t smart enough or good enough to get it right.  I finally realized I was thinking about it all wrong.  Have you heard the saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”?  I’m now a believer and a stronger one at that!  I have failed countless times, but I like to think I have learned something from it every time.

One of the most important lessons we can learn is that “The fear of failure is far more damaging than failure.”  Fear can paralyze us.  It can defeat us and, if we allow it to, cause us to give up totally.

If that happens, where does that leave you?  You have lost your ability to move forward, lost the opportunity to learn from your mistakes and gained ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

So… what will it be?  Will you take a chance?  One thing is certain.  You will either succeed, or you will fail.  What I have learned is that it doesn’t define who I am.  If I succeed, incredible!  And if I fail, that’s incredible too!  God has given me this one life and it is my choice (free will) to make the most of it and be a good steward of it.  Do I WANT to fail?  Of course not!  But if I do, I hope I will always hitch up my bootstraps and try again.

Pray Unceasingly!  (Karl Dingman, Milo Karhu and Kathy Wilson and others)

In His light,

Lois

 

To Reduce Your Fear of Failure, Redefine It

Rick Warren

 “No matter how often honest people fall, they always get up again.” (Proverbs 24:16a TEV)

Never forget this truth: Failure probably won’t kill you.

We vastly exaggerate the effects of failure. We blow the prospects of failing all out of proportion. Failing is not the end of the world. The fear of failure is far more damaging than failure.

Proverbs 24:16 says, “No matter how often honest people fall, they always get up again” (TEV). Even good guys stumble. They make mistakes, blow it, and stub their toes.

Successful people are not people who never fail. They’re people who get up again and keep going. Successful people just don’t know how to quit.

Ever heard of these famous failures?

George Washington lost two-thirds of all the battles he fought. But he won the Revolutionary War and later became the first U.S. president.

Napoleon graduated 42nd in a class of 43. Then he went out and conquered Europe!

In 21 years Babe Ruth hit 714 home runs, but he struck out 1,330 times. He struck out nearly twice as often as he hit a home run.

The famous novelist John Creasey received 753 rejection slips before he published 564 books.

Rowland Hussey Macy failed seven times at retailing before starting Macy’s department store.

Great people are simply ordinary people who have an extraordinary amount of determination. They just keep on going. They realize they’re never a failure until they quit.

That’s how you reduce your fear of failure. You redefine it.

You don’t fail by not reaching a specific goal. Instead, failure is not having a goal. Failure is refusing to get back up again once you fall. It’s refusing to try.

On the first day of kindergarten, I got in the wrong line and then into the wrong classroom. Can you imagine me going home to my mom and dad and saying, “I’m a failure at education! This school thing just doesn’t work”? Of course not.

You keep going. If at first you don’t succeed, it’s no big deal. You’re never a failure until you give up.