Good morning!

Here’s a tidbit that you may not have known about me.  I am a HUGE Karen Kingsbury fan.  She is my go to when my mind needs to relax in God’s love and enjoy a wonderful story of that love at the same time.  I have almost every book that she has written so if you are a local friend and need a good read, I know where you can borrow one.

Since this is June, a traditional month for weddings, I thought I would share something from one of her novels, When We Were Young.  These tips work for not only marriages, but other relationships too.

I hope you love them as much as I do and can possibly even apply them somewhere in your life.

Pray Unceasingly!!

In His light,

Lois

Elizabeth Baxter’s 10 Secrets to a Happy Marriage (Karen Kingsbury)

1.  Keep God first – By loving God more than your spouse, you will always be humble enough to love your spouse more than humanly possible.  This makes for a beautiful marriage.

Matthew 6:33 – But first seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

•  Divorce is not an option – From the beginning, remove the word “divorce” from your vocabulary.  People do not look for a door where one does not exist.

Mark 10:9 – Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.

• Marriage is not 50/50 – There will be days when one of you falls short.  Make it your goal to give 100 percent every day.  That way you are covered.  Every day, forever!

               Colossians 3:23 – Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord.

•  Know your spouse’s love language – People speak love in different ways.  Gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, intentional time.  Figure out how to speak to each other so that the love between you will grow.

Romans 12:9 – Love must be sincere.

•  Expect the best of each other, be patient, and forgive easily.  Attitude is everything in marriage.  Look for ways to humbly be kind to your spouse.  Keep short accounts.  Don’t worry about being right.

Ephesians 4:2 – Be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Colossians 3:13 – Bear with each other and forgive one another… forgive as the Lord forgave you.

•  Keep dating – Your marriage must be a priority.  Seek God first, then your spouse. Each other.  Every day.  Never stop dating and pursuing each other.  Value and celebrate your love.

Song of Solomon 3:2 – I must seek the one my soul loves.

•  Build each other up – Kind words are free.  Look for ways to encourage each other.  Every day.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 – Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.

• Laugh often – Find reasons to be silly.  Smile and be light-hearted.  You’ll laugh about it later, so make up your mind to laugh about it today.

Proverbs 17:22 – A cheerful heart is good medicine.

• Live within your means – Couples who get in debt stay stressed.  Living within your means can be great fun.  Take walks.  Play board games.  Visit your park,  Clip coupons.

Hebrews 13:5 – Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.

1. Fix yourself, not your spouse – Work to be kinder and gentler.  Be the person your spouse married.  Listen well.  Be intentional.

Matthew 7:3 – Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

We are now on summer break from our weekly meetings until September.  I am always here, or can be reached if you need me.  It doesn’t matter if you have a question, an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, I will always try to be here for you.

That being said, no matter where you are this summer, there are things you can do to maintain and boost your motivation! 

Summers get hot so it’s a great time to pull out the grill or smoker.  Not just for meats, but vegetables and even fruit!  Keep life as simple, and cool, as possible.  Drink LOTS of water!

Make some time for yourself.  Find a quiet place and do early morning devotions and prayer time.  Listen to some music that soothes your soul and maybe take a nice warm bath. (A cup of Epsom salts, ½ cup of baking soda and a few drops of essential oil will turn it into a luxurious spa experience!)  Eat light, healthy meals that don’t make you feel bogged down.  If you need a nap afterwards, you might be eating something you shouldn’t eat or too much of it.  Set some goals for your summer, then decide what you need to do to achieve them.

Read this informative, if long, article for tips for a healthy, peaceful, motivated summer!  And, as always:

Pray Unceasingly!!

In His light,

Lois

Simple Tips to Maintain Your Motivation

The Daniel Plan

Let’s face it, choosing between a donut and a diet is a matter of motivation. Want to live healthy, feel better and enjoy life, or satisfy a short-term desire to chomp on foods that are a waste and end up on your waist. To make lasting progress, you must know what’s motivating you to adjust your lifestyle into a healthy one.

Here are some tips to keep your motivation running high:

Be Purpose Driven

Stay on track with your goals by writing down a purpose statement. When you see success in your mind, it is more likely to become a reality. Use the five Essentials—Faith, Food, Fitness, Focus, and Friends as a guideline to write what you want for yourself. 

Grab your journal or a piece of paper and list each of the five Essentials:

FAITH 
FOOD 
FITNESS 
FOCUS 
FRIENDS

Next to each heading write what you believe God wants for you and what you want for yourself.  Be positive and use the first person.  Write your purpose with confidence and the expectation that with God’s power it can happen. If you need to, work on it over the next several days.  After you finish with the initial draft, place this list where you can see it every day.

Whenever you do a behavior over and over, such as reading your purpose driven exercise daily, it actually develops and strengthens specific pathways in the brain. 

Set Smart Goals

Smart goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Goals that follow these standards will help you keep your focus on what is most important. 

Specific goals are clear and distinct. This is where you understand exactly what is expected and why it is important. A specific goal usually answers the five “W” questions: What?  Why? Who? Where?  Which (of the five Essentials)?

Measurable emphasizes the need for tangible benchmarks. If a goal is not measurable, how will you

know whether you are making progress? Measuring your progress helps you stay on track and keeps you excited. A measurable goal answers questions such as “How much?” and “By when?”

Attainable means the goals need to be realistic, even though it’s okay to have big dreams. Extreme goals
usually invite failure and frustration. When you identify the goals that are most important to you, you will figure out ways to make them happen.

Relevant means goals that matter. A relevant goal answers “yes” to these questions: Is it worthwhile? Is this the right time? Does it match your other efforts and needs?

Time-bound stresses the importance of attaining the goal within a certain time frame. When you use time-bound criteria, you’ll be able to measure your goals and focus your efforts on a specific deadline.

Here are some examples SMART Goals:

Lose thirty pounds in six months.

Walk like I am late four times a week for forty-five minutes with my walking partner.

Do a complete kitchen cleanse (clean out my kitchen of all unhealthful food) once a week.

Spend one night a week with friends reading and discussing the Daniel Plan material. Call in between meetings for encouragement and accountability.

Spend five to ten minutes a day journaling my progress.

Spend ten or more minutes a day in prayer or reading my Bible.

Eat Daniel Plan-approved foods at least 90 percent of the time.

Work toward SMART goals that give your brain and mind clear direction and focus on what is important. 

Know Your Motivation

In order to get and stay healthy, it is critical for you to know why it is important. What drives your desire to be healthy? Write it down and put it where you can see it every day. Be positive and approach it from two angles—to attain benefits, and to avoid negative consequences. Motivators might include: 

“I want to live long.”

“I want to have great energy.”

“I want to look great.”

“I want to feel better.”

“I want to have better relationships.”

“I want to be happier and smarter for the long run.” 

For Dr. Daniel Amen, time with his family is his motivating factor:

“For me, I have an amazing wife, four wonderful children, and a grandson, Elias. My grandfather was one of the most important people in my whole life. I was named after him and he was my best friend growing up. I know how important grandparents can be.

“The day Elias was born I thought about my grandfather all day long. I WANT to be healthy to be able to love Elias like my grandfather loved me. When I really think about what’s important to me, no amount of cheeseburgers, sodas, or double  fudge chocolate chip brownies is worth the price of damaging my health and stealing the time I have with my family.” – Dr. Daniel Amen

Put your failures to good use. Changing old bad habits into a new healthy lifestyle occurs in steps. Sometimes it’s two steps forward and one step back. Take advantage of your failures and learn from them. The mistakes we make can educate us on how to do something better the next time if we are paying attention. You become a success by learning what doesn’t work and not doing it anymore.

Use the power of vision. Visualizing your goals is a good way to remind yourself of why you want to be healthy. Pictures can help you stay motivated! Put images on your computer desktop, around your home, on your smart phone, or in the visor of your car that remind you of why you want to be healthy. These pictures can be of family members, or of a time in your life when you felt good about yourself, or of a time that represents you living out your purpose.

To stay motivated you must stay focused and intentional with how you approach the goals you have set.

We will soon wind up another season of Daniel Plan.  If anyone had told me when we started this that we would still be doing this 5 years later, I would have laughed at them. 5 years of meeting, emails ( roughly 268 of them!) , recipes, tears and joy.  This isn’t something that I have ever felt like was my “calling”, but God opened my mouth and here I am.  I guess if HE has a plan, I am along for the ride until He tells me something different.

Why has a “40 day plan” turned into a 5 year adventure, you ask?  Wow.  Where do I even start.  Maybe the best place to start is the bond of friendship I have gained with some very special people!  They will hold a place in my heart forever.  I cannot thank these wonderful ladies for supporting me through thick and thin and brain fog, which happens occasionally.  I pray for them daily and I know they pray for me.

We have learned so much.  The Daniel Plan is so much more than just food.  It’s a healthier relationship with food, with God, with others and with ourselves.  Sometimes ourselves is the really tough one.

We have learned a new attitude and that sometimes we have to backup, forgive ourselves and try again.  Sometimes, we just have to be kind to ourselves.

We have learned that we need to recognize that God has a plan for us that supersedes any that we might have for ourselves.  His plan is always going to be better than ours.

 And maybe the most important thing I have learned is that I have to CHOOSE to be healthier in body and in my relationship with Jesus.  What we put in our minds is what others see come out of us.  What we put into our bodies determines how healthy we will be.

I have heard people say that they don’t care what other people think of them, I have probably said it before too.  The truth is though, I do care.  I will never be a great theologian, I can’t remember scripture the way I would like, but what I can strive for every day of my life is to be an example of God’s love.  When I fail, I am not my failure.  I will persevere and be better because I have the peace of knowing I am a child of God.

Pray Unceasingly!!

In His light,

Lois

A Steadfast Mind

The Daniel Plan

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. —Isaiah 26:3

A steadfast mind is crucial, because whatever gets your attention gets you. Your life will flourish if you simply stop focusing on what you don’t want and start focusing on what you do want. If you stop focusing on what’s bad for you and start focusing on what’s good for you. If you stop focusing on what everybody else wants you to do and start focusing on what God wants you to do.

No matter what handicap you have, you can be healthier than you are right now. But there are choices to make.

Choose to do things that will increase your energy.

Choose things that will lower your stress and bring more power and more health in your life. Eat better, get more sleep, and prioritize what’s important.

Be steadfast about every choice and trust God for the results.

Food for Thought: You’ll find peace when you are steadfast about your choices and your focus.

Last week we began the series on the Friends Essential.  This may be one of the most taken for granted subjects that we cover.

The first two “Habits” really brought my friendships to mind.  We probably all know LOTS of people.  I know that I have a lot that I look forward to seeing, chatting and giving them a hug when I can.  Read those first two habits again though.

If you have suffered a tremendous loss, if you have been emotionally or spiritually devastated, if there is something intensely personal that you need to talk to someone about, would you feel comfortable calling any one of these people? 

When I stop and think of people I can trust with my love, my spirit, my anger and frustrations, my.very.life… that list shortens quickly to a very select few.  These are friends I could call in the middle of the night because I need a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen.  A friend who accepts me unconditionally for who I am, but loves me enough to question me if I am wrong.

I believe God puts people in our lives, sometimes for a time and sometimes forever.  My list is now short, but oh so precious!  A true friend is PRICELESS and should be cared for as such.  

Pray Unceasingly!!

In His light,

Lois

7 Habits of Highly Happy People 

Sean Foy

“Happiness is a thing to be practiced, like the violin.” John Lubbock

What is happiness? And what makes someone happy? The World Happiness Report and the happiest countries on earth have identified and encourage the regular practice of 7 specific “happy habits” or what I call “happy moves” to consistently enhance one’s happiness.

According to researchers, happy people:

Live longer

Have lower risk of heart disease

Have lower blood pressure

Are less stressed

Less likely to be sick

Sleep better

Have stronger relationships

Stronger sense of meaning and purpose in life

Have greater emotional wellbeing & are just, well, happier ☺

Consider the following “Happy Moves” this week to boost your own happiness- they are guaranteed to put a smile on your face:

1.Nurture Your Relationships: 

If there were one thing you can do to immediately boost your happiness-it would be to share your heart with the one’s you love. Actually, to be more accurate, “the one you love”.  Researchers have uncovered it’s not the number of relationships that matters most rather it’s the quality and level of connectedness you experience in your relationships. 
This week, be intentional and select one individual, you care deeply about, and once a day compliment or say “thank you” for something you appreciate about them (such as their smile, compassion, sweetness, resilience, encouragement, hope, faith and or help). You’ll be amazed how much this simple “happy move” will increase your connection with the one you love this week.

2. Cultivate kindness: 
Overwhelming evidence demonstrates that caring for someone other than ourselves creates a happier and more positive environment. Researchers at the University of California Berkeley have implemented a science-based strategy to help all of us “cultivate kindness” in our lives.

Write down the names of three-six people you turn to when you are hurting, in distress or worried.

Then write down three-six positive qualities you admire in these individuals.

Next, recall and visualize a time when you were distressed or worried and how these individuals comforted you and showed you kindness.

Lastly, write down a brief description of the way this experience made you feel and watch your kindness grow!

3. Let it Flow: 
Ever found yourself losing track of time? According to researchers and sports performance specialists, if we are deeply involved in trying to accomplish a goal or an activity that is engaging, fun and or challenging (and our skills are matched for the task), we experience a pleasurable and joyful state called “flow.” What makes you lose track of time? Make it a point this week to engage in a hobby, task, project, cause, relationship and any aspect of life that challenges, inspires and ultimately you have the skills to accomplish. Watch how time flies by and how the state of raised happiness becomes a reality.                                    

4. Schedule Sacred Moments-Invest in Your Spiritual Engagement and Meaning: 

Many studies indicate a close link between happiness and our spiritual lives. For centuries, societies across the globe have engaged in practices that elevate one’s faith, perspective, hope, social support, meaning and a greater sense of purpose in life- all which have been shown to increase one’s happiness. So, this week, intentionally focus on practicing a “sacred moment” during your day.  Take a few minutes to pray, journal, read a devotional and or listen to a favorite set of worship songs.   
  5. Focus on Strengths and Virtues: 
Did you know, people who focus on their innate talents, strengths and virtues are six times more likely to be more engaged in their work and happier, according to years of data from Gallup researchers. For years many of us have believed strengthening our weaknesses was the way to improve our lives. Now current research overwhelmingly demonstrates just the opposite. Focusing on one’s strengths & virtues builds your happiness. So this week focus on what makes your feel energized and strong, what you feel competent doing, and what those closest to you say are your greatest strengths.

6. Look on the bright side- build optimism and gratitude into your life: 
Optimistic and grateful people have been shown to demonstrate more positive attitudes, a greater sense of belonging, greater ability to handle stressful situations and a significantly higher level of happiness. Optimism and gratitude have also been associated with greater immune functioning, prevention of chronic disease, improved self-esteem and greater life satisfaction and much more. So this week, pick three great things you are thankful for and post them on the “World Gratitude Map” (HTTPS://GRATITUDE.CROWDMAP.COM), on your Facebook page or in a journal.7. Move to boost your mood:
One of the greatest learning’s, I think I’ve ever had, related to exercise is when I heard the phrase, “motion-dramatically impacts emotion”. We know exercise releases endorphins that have been proven to make us feel better. So this week, the simple act of moving is not only good for your body-it’s also good for your “smile”. This week, get on the move, go for that walk, do some squats in your office, or better yet, try to do something that brings a smile to your face! You’ll be happy you did! 

We are all created for love.  Not just for us to love God, but for GOD to love us!  That always amazes me.  He wants me to love Him, but He loves me!  Fully and unconditionally.  I’m certain He doesn’t love everything I do, but He still loves me!

We are all created to hunger for God.  All of us are hungry, but so often we try to satisfy that hunger with food, drugs, alcohol, sex, money, television, sports, friends, shopping, hobbies, jobs, home improvements or something… something besides the one thing that can truly keep us from being empty.  God’s love.

God gave us freewill.  He doesn’t want us to love Him because we have to, He wants us to love Him because we want to.  He gave us a choice.  We have the choice to love Him and we have the choice to follow Him.  What do you choose?

Pray Unceasingly!!

In His light,

Lois

Love is a Choice

Rick Warren   “Love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob” (Deuteronomy 30:20 NIV).   Too many people have bought into the myth that love is uncontrollable, that it’s something that just happens to us. In fact, even the language we use implies the uncontrollability of love. We say, “I fell in love,” as if love were some kind of a ditch. I’m walking along one day and—bam!—I fell in love. I couldn’t help myself.   But here’s the truth: That’s not love. Love doesn’t just happen to you. Love is a choice, and it represents a commitment.   There’s no doubt that attraction is uncontrollable and arousal is uncontrollable. But attraction and arousal are not love. They can lead to love, but they are not love. Love is a choice.   You must choose to love God; he won’t force you to love him (Deuteronomy 30:20). You can thumb your nose at God and go a totally different way. You can destroy your life if you choose to do that. God still won’t force you to love him, because he knows love can’t be forced.   This same principle is true about your relationships: You can choose to love others, but God won’t force you to love anyone.